How is TTC treating you?

Assalammualaikum wbt,

rase macam pernah tulis entry mcm ni tp malas nk look through previous post balik..hehe

so, how's ttc treating you?

being a ttcian is tough, but somehow it change you to be a better person kan?

i wrote this not to brag or riak (Nauzubillah), but just to share what i felt and what happen to me since i start planning for pregnancy.

at first, i became so knowledgeable! haha. i start to search every single aspect of getting pregnant, what food should i take, what i hv to prevent, which is the best supplement, what happen to my reproductive system, what drugs help with ttc..i googled almost everyday. ttc had became my major in my research (kalo buat paperwork ni dah cemerlang dah..haha)

then it come to a point of experimenting...i try this vitamins, this milk, that method etc etc etc...pantang baca success stories sikit dah nk try. but not all i had tried yet (such as acupuncure, bekam, homeopathy). i tried berurut once but im a bit skeptical of this urut thingy.. takut dgn bidan tu die masukkan benda2 lain ke...erkkk..

but as a human, after all methods fail, you will return back to The Creator. i seek back what i had missed.. i perfecting my solah little by little as i watch my husband perform solah so perfect i became so jealous of him. it is not just the way you pronouce the ayah, it is also how to sit for tahiyat awal, how to angkat takbir or the way you fold your legs when sujud. it's all matters. then, i try to increase my good deads my doing zikr everytime i drove back n forth to work and home. i bought this cute digital tasbih counter and it really help me boost my spirit to do zikr when im driving. so, what i do is, i recite istighfar when on my way to work atleast 1000 times, and salawat for our Prophet 1000 times when i drove home. it was hard at first as i like to tune in to ERA FM when driving and listening to johara's joke keep me awake and focus., but it's weird to listen to songs when you do zikr, a really a contradictory act lol.. so, i tune off the radio and focus on my zikr. but i became bored..so i tune in to IKIM fm, and to my surprise, it helps me to stay focus on my zikr and if im bored or sleepy, i stop and listen to IKIM fm. by doing this, i manage to gain 2 things at a time! knowledge and zikr. alhamdulillah. another thing is i start to concern about my act of sadaqah. so i bought the Aman Palestine piggy bank that only cost RM2 and me n husband trying hard as much as possible to donate everyday and everytime we see that piggy bank. and lastly not to forget about reciting the most famous Prophet Zakaria's du'a. i discipline myself to recite it after each prayer and i 'force' my husband to do that too as i manage to make him memorize that ayat..hehe..good job sayang!

other than that, i realize that my mindset about getting babies are also change. at first i thought getting babies IS THE MAJOR ISSUE! but i was wrong. the purpose of marriage is far more bigger than that!. all this while, im not happy if my period came or i heard news of my best friends are pregnant. hence, it doesnt help me much either. im not happy, my partner stress out whenever im on my no-mood mode. happiness was put on getting babies. then i realize im not going to live my life not being happy because im not pregnant yet. what if in God's will i will not get pregnant at all? am i going to be upset my whole life? hell no! i hv to live my life to the fullest. now im in a mode of changing my view of life im living on. we r ttc ing as hard as we could but we leave the rest to The All Mighty. we laugh when we do stupid things, we cry to ease our burden.

let's change from inside out. you will feel the sweetness of ttc.

Happy Ramadhan Karem everyone. why not make a new start this ramadhan?

3rd appointment: Hosp Pantai

Assalammualaikum wbt,

kali ke 3 jumpa doc adillah, da bole calm down sbb sebelum ni gabra semcm smpai nk tnye pape semua xleh..haha..

ok kali ni cek telur je, sbb last time ade yg 12mm tu kan, so bile tgk hari ni, 12 mm tu dah xde, tinggal sac je yg da meleper doc kate. dan good news sbb rahim menebal 8mm(ke cm ek) which is sesuai untuk implantation dan doc tgk ade cecair dlm rahim which biasanya cecair ovulation! rahim pun wane putih which mcm tanda2 ovulation.. but bile doc cek balik note die, die prasan yg last time jmpe doc pun rahim putih..n i pun mention yg last week ade keputihan wane hijau n doc pun mengeluh sbb mungkin ade infection..
but doc kate who knows kan..rezeki mmg betul i ovulate..

so, doc bg duphaston again for 2 weeks starting today, then hari terakhir duphaston try cek upt, if negative, wait for the period, if positif, kena cont amik duphaston.

so, the 2ww begins..semoga ada rezeki bulan yg mulia ini..

owh btw ade tnye doc psl result insulin yg lepas, doc kate belum thp nk diabetis or insulin resistance lg but going to which bila umur da 35 above da kne cek drh setiap thun. for now, ia just mengganggu hormon nk pregnant sbb insulin pun hormon kan..so metformin nnt utk stabilizekan hormon je..fuhhh lega!

p/s: bulan ramadhan ni banyak nk doa! tp yg penting kena doa diampunakn dosa agar ramadhan xsia2..

2nd Appointment: Hosp Pantai

Assalammualaikum wbt,

Setelah dapat call dari nurse ida tentand vit d, esoknye mmg ade appointment dgn doc adilah. this time appointment sangat cepat 10 mins je jmpe docs..huhu.

so hari ni review all the lab result..keputusan sangat mendukacitakan:

1. vit D mmg rendah

2. insulin sangat tinggi (18.8!)

so doc suspect insulin resistant kot eventho doc xmention pun. but doc plan to start ubat turunkn gula dlm darah, mungkin metformin lepas pose nanti sbb takut hypo bile amik time pose. n of cos vit D supplement 1000iu 2 kali sehari..banyak kan?? huhu..

then TVS again nk cek telur sbb aritu time cd3-7 ade amik clomid 100mg. so, as usual, cyst sgt banyak n ade 1 telur 12mm the biggest among other but doc ckp still kecik utk cd13..biasanya 12mm ni cd6..huu..xpe doc kate mungkin die membesar so hari isnin 23rd ni dtg lg cek telur. but i couldnt manage to come that day, so doc kate dtg sehari lmbt pun xpe tp tkut da ruptures la telur tu xdpt monitor, xpe yg penting kena bersama selang sehari. ok doc!

sblm jmpe doc sempat lg melawat kwn kat wad, dia nk wat laps ptg tu..first time jmpe biasa wassup je..hehe..hope u r doing fine sis.. n dpt conceive lepas ni! amin..

hurm, cmne nk turunkan level insulin ek? da la nk pose ni..eksesais mcm tak je..huhu.

Result Darah: Vit D

Assalammualaikum wbt,

Baru lepas terima panggilan dari Nurse Ida Hosp Pantai. dia bgtau result vit D saya rendah :(
vit D penting untuk conceive since baby develop tulang dr calcium dan calcium kita dipengaruhi oleh vit D kita. hurm..

Esok appointment ngn Dr Adilah lagi.. nurse kate doc nk start ubat baru utk naikkan level Vit D..

any comment girls?

1st appointment: Dr Adillah Pantai Hospital

Assalammualaikum wbt..

lepas seminggu appointment baru berkesempatan nk tulis blog. 

btw, pade sesiapa yang baru follow blog saya (ade ke?perasan..hehe) saya baru je tukar doctor yg sebelum ni saya wat ngn doc hamizah LPPKN..but due to certain reasons, kami beralih arah ke Dr Adillah di Pantai Hospital Bangsar.

kisahnya bermula, pada pertemuan pertama..

memandangkan ini kali pertama jumpa doc adillah, so kena dtg awal untuk tau cmne flow hosp pantai ni. so we manage to reach there at 7.30am. parking kat basement than pegi ke lobby hospital. tanye receptionist mane klinik doc adilah. so, if sesiapa yang xtau lagi, cari atm then nnt nmpak starbuck, terus lagi nmpk lift. naik tingkat 4 than keluar nampak kaunter pendaftaran belah kanan. kalau dtg pepagi cam saya ni, of coz xde org dtg keje lagi..tp no giliran dah boleh ambik.. rupenye nombor giliran manual. hehe..so pegi cari bakul isi nombor giliran atas kaunter tu, cari ikut name doctor anda tau sebab kat situ ade byk lagi klinik run by other docs. so bila da ambik, utk 1st timer, kena isi borang pendaftaran, if yg regular, just kepilkan nombor giliran anda dengan kad appointment. 

hari tu kami dapat no 7. ingatkan kejap, lama jugak tunggu, dlm kol 10 lebih baru jumpe doc. nak di pendekkan cerita, bilik doc adillah sangat comel dan cantik! i like the furniture, ala2 english gitu. well, she seem very serius and tired jugak kot haritu, tp die layan kami sangat superb!. die tnye history semua, review balik semua result saya buat kat lppkn, tgk balik HSG xray. dan buat TVS. so mcm full assessemnt la. 

upon TVS examination, saya n suami terkejut dgn ape yg doc bgtau which never ever any doc mention this to me ever before. doc kate my uterus is flex! usually normal uterus is flex towards bladder, but mine is flex backward!. but doc kate this is not a major thing, it is like some people is right handed and some people is left handed. but ade sebab kenapa jadi flex. so doc suspect endometriosis. suspect shj sebab doc kne wat further test utk confrimkan. 

after that doc kire ketebalan rahim. doc kate rahim saya kecik macam budak kecik..maybe sebab dah lame xde stimulation dari estrogen sbb xde folikel. then doc tgk ovaries. sekali tgk je doc mmg ckp pcos sbb 1 ovary je dah ade 14 cyst..belum masuk yg sebelah lg. utk diagnose pcos kena ade lbh kurang 10 cyst sekurang2 nya.

dan bila doc review blood work dr lppkn, byk rupenye test yang xberapa nak penting diambil dan yg paling sadis, rupenye tarikh blood taken kat lab result tu semua die tulis tarikh yg sama! padahal blood amik time cd3 lah, cd 21 lah..kan tarikh lain2 tu..hish...but result sperm husband is valid. so saya kena amik blood semula dan kena cek Vit D level jugak. 

dan HSG xray pun xberapa nak cantik sebab doc prefer result yg ade time frame per second time dye tu di inject.. so bole tau part mane ade occlusion ke or part mane sempit..hurm...

so kesimpulan pertemuan kami hari ini:

1. saya confirm ade PCOS

2. baru tau rahim flex or kate org melayu, rahim terbalik

3. propability ade endometriosis

sebelum balik doc bagi ubat clomid makan time cd3 smpai habis. then duphaston untuk induce period bulan ni, then doc nasihat mkn multivit n folic acid.

total bil: RM250 full assessment consultation, RM250 blood lab work, RM40 clomid, RM 150 consultation. 

Sekian. 

Gelabah

Assalammualaikum wbt..

ye fizikally xnampak gelabah tp hati Allah shj yg tahu. fyi dearest readers, saya ade kakak ipar yg kawen same tahun dgn kami tp masih xde rezeki utk menimang chy mata juga. but semlm die dtg uma n die gtau my mil, and my mil gtau saya yg akak dah 2 bln xmai period n last month period pun sehari je. tp xcek upt lg..so ade chance pregnant. i was like..wha.........ttt....cek la kan..buat resah hati ini je..

hurm, rase gundah gulana pulak..if my sil preggy, sedihnye...bukan sedih sbb die pregnant..tp sedih sebab saya x lagi..dah la die xstart treatment ape2 pun..umur dah 30+..n berjaya pregnant T_T..jahat x? nauzubillah... T_T May Allah protect our imaann..

im happy for her if she really is pregnant..atleast my mil ade cucu baru. xperlu tunggu kami..but in the same time i feel sad n depress..Ya Allah..ease my burden and give me strong shoulder.

-dilema xtentu hala-

New Journey..inshaAllah

Assalammualaikum..

Last 13th mei was my CD1, alhamdulillah gembira sebab leh start treatment bulan ni! sepatutnya period datang around 6th tu, but sbb xabes lg dos duphaston, so delaylah seminggu. so, rabu 14th tu terus call lppkn utk set appointmnt. but sgt2 kecewa bila PA dr hamizah kate doc xavailable minggu ni utk jumpe. dah la cd4 saya ari jumaat, sabtu cd5. so mmg xleh nk wat appointment la..pujuk nurse tu, bole ke doc prescribe ubat base on my record then i g amik ubat je, sbb klu jmpe doc pn doc bkn leh scan ke ape kan.. nurse tu kate xleh..hish..geram betul.. by right bole je sbb doc still monitor i punya perkembangan sbb segala scan bagai time da abes period nnt. da la this is my last treatment sblm bln pose..serius down gile..terus pm kwn2 ttc mintk pendapat.. then diorg suggest utk wat appointment dgn doc Adilah, hosp pantai. so, tnpa pikir panjang terus je call nurse ida, & alhamdulillah dpt set appointmnt ngn dr adilah cd12 nnt, bersamaa 23rd, friday. husband pun support sbb die kate xnk membazir waktu tunggu lps pose baru wat treatment.. mane tau ngn doc adilah ni leh fast track kan...inshaAllah..

but the main concern here is money la.. semlm ade kwn ttc first time jmpe dr adilah kne lbh kurang rm1k! wahh..tabung mane nk korek ni~~~ huhu..tp hubby kate jgn risau ngn duit, duit boleh dicari..xyah berkira sgt dlm hal anak..alhamdulillah..hubby sgt sporting.. :))

so, here we go, tunggu 23rd nnt utk jmpe doc yg femes tu..hehe

till then, bye